I am the oldest grandkid in my dad's side and when I was a kid, I used to think that being the oldest was an automatic ticket to being the favorite grandkid. Yes, sometimes my grandpa(appachen) would give me special perks like sitting on his chair for lunch, placing the colorful pink pill in his mouth and choosing the song we would sing for our family prayer. But all these actions would be counteracted with comments on how my cousin is well rounded or how my sister looks so much more like him. As I grew older, I became more aware of the snide comments and his lack of interest, and all the little perks I got was clouded by what I didn't get.
Thats when the fighting began- the fight for love. I tried to get attention, I tried to spend more time with him, I tried the separation technique hoping the time will allow him to miss me. But nothing worked. Finally, I gave up. It was of no use. If it weren't for his insensitive actions, my pestering thoughts about him not loving me got the best of me.
I realized why I have my appachen in my life. My appachen taught me how to be strong inspite of hindrances, and to motivate myself to strive even without perks. But the most important lesson I got from this experience is how to turn to my Savior. I realized that I have a Savior who fights for my love. My Savior who tries to get my attention by being very apparent and giving me all that I wanted. My Savior who gave me the silent treatment so that I learn how to trust in His love. My Savior who fights with so much love that I don't need anything more in this world- not even my appacha's attention.
We are surrounded by people who love us immensely. We also have those people that backstab us, betray us, hurt us and dislike us. They all teach us how to value our Savior's love and to cling onto that forever.
